Last month i post the part 1 of how to sustain in LDR. Before i can continue part 2,maybe i can just summarize on what i wrote earlier
1. You both must seriously in love with each other
2. Build confidence that both of you can enter LDR world.
3. Transparent in communication and always open for discussion. Avoid misunderstanding.
4. Lower your expectation towards your partner.
To read more about the details can look into my previous Post.
what are the others?
If we are leaving in "zaman batu, LDR is kind of impossible. You will have a relationship with people who lives in same cave that you will see every day. But nowadays, if your boyfriend live in middle of the sea, you actually can still connect with each other. This is what we call, the power of technology. We have various type of communication technology and it is growing like crazy. Laptop, phones, various type of tablet PC. A lot of them. Here i actually take this opportunities to ensure i will able to sustain my LDR. When i was a student, phone is like my best friends. Like everyone else i will bring it anywhere i go and stay connected with my bf (now fiancé). Stay online also another option. So we can chat and video call with each other. So basically, LDR can work out if we utilize the power of technology.
To ensure you both always be able to contact with each other, it will involves quite a lot of money. Your phone bills might increase and also need to pay your internet for example. Here always be another problem. Don’t think it is a waste of money. Think that it is an investment that you make for your relationship. You must sincere with every money you spent towards your partner. Don’t always said, the guy should pay the bill. If all that happen, totally ruin your relationship. Whoever have the money, spend it. But make sure don’t take advantage of your partner that might have slightly higher income then you. Try to contribute and your partner will believe that you are also as serious as him/her to sustain the relationship.
What if I feel boring? At first you commit to LDR, but at one point, you feel that, this will not work out. In short, de motivated. Here is the point that you need to be careful. Try to fill in your life with other things like work, hobbies, spend time with your family and best friends. The key is to divert your attention from feeling depress when your partner not around. In fact, when you think at the bright side, once you able to get in touch with him, there are a lot of stories you can share to your partner. Logically, if you always together, and not spend your time for other things, you will not able to share your life with your partner. But, remember, don’t find his/her replacement. You know what I mean right? Don’t betray your partner just because he is not around. You don’t want to hurt the one that you love.
Another tip that I can think of is, trust your partner. You cannot see god, but you believe in god. That is trust. You cannot see your partner, but please try to trust your partner. Trust comes with honesty. Honesty comes with trust. When you both honest with each other, easy to trust each other. If you get your partner trust, you will feel bad if not being honest. To gain trust you have to be honest. Do you get what I mean? Haha..too many trust and honest word. Sometimes in certain circumstances we might need to make small lies, but make sure you say sorry as soon as possible and explain clearly why you tell that lies. But dont do it often, or else will lose your partner trust.
<<image search at google image. hu3>>
Ok, that’s it. Let me summarize all again.
1. You both must seriously in love with each other
2. Build confidence that both of you can enter LDR world.
3. Transparent in communication and always open for discussion. Avoid misunderstanding.
4. Lower your expectation towards your partner.
5. Make use the technology to stay connected.
6. Don’t scared to invest some money to always connected and sincere to each money spend for your partner. Not always guys that need to pay the bill.
7. Try to divert your attention to other stuff (families/hobbies/best friends)if you feel bored or miss your partner when he/she not around. But don’t betray your partner.
8. Always honest to each other to gain trust. Say sorry ASAP even small lies. But please don’t do it always as it reduce the % of trust.
